Amid all the hype and media polarity

Who would have known there’s some solidarity

Among those of us who believe that

Getting it done in the center is where it’s at.

The crazy voices at each end of the pole

May fill a void, but are another type of hole…

The White House Press Office rarely gets it right.

But this one time it’s shining bright.

When asked for comment on the “mushroom head”

They uncharacteristically said nothing instead!

Oh thank God for that small little bone.

No, not THAT, I mean the one we were thrown.

Seems to me the gap is pretty big

Between the White House and a photo shoot gig.

When FLOTUS sports a coat reflecting her beliefs

On the way to a shelter for children needing relief

It’s hard to think of it in quite the same way

As a leftie pol in fancy rags for a day.

In 2016 he chose not to run

For fear he’d take votes from Hillary Clinton.

Well that didn’t work out too well.

And instead the election went to hell.

But now he’s thinking of entering the race.

President Bloomberg! It’s the right time and place.

What a world it is when the Grim Reaper does speak

In support of people he generally makes shriek.

Of the #MeToo and TimesUp crew

He said he’s surprised they haven’t cut through

With a bigger scythe across the corporate terrain.

Say what you will, the man’s not insane.

Tradeoffs are made when you pick a location

To live with your family and pursue a vocation.

In the US we’re mostly blessed with convenience.

Yes there are issues – we don’t give them lenience.

But one thing you assume as you grow up

Is that your f#@king house won’t blow up!

By the time you do anything 100 times

It can get a bit old, not quite so fine.

It’s fun to disrupt the standard routine

So these two had fun and made quite a scene.

At his hundredth birthday celebration

He also got married, before a surprised delegation.

Congratulations to Nia Imani Franklin

Making New York proud with its newest ranking.

The state can now claim a Miss America winner.

She’s studious and caring and a little bit thinner

Than all the others who donned the sash

With their hopes of victory now sadly dashed.

As Hurricane Florence barrels towards us

Donnie gives pledges as comfort for us.

In Puerto Rico he claimed “tremendous success”

Did he confuse Maria with Stormy’s dress?

He wonders if he will ever get past her…

Meanwhile, 3,000 dead is a tragic disaster.

He starts with the premise that it’s a sham,

Global warming is fake, a liberal scam.

Then he appoints a guy to run the EPA

Who had sued it 12 times and thinks the same way.

Let methane flow free, it won’t change the climate

So says the Prez, our fact-free primate.