Poor Mitch McConnell is bent out of shape

And by all accounts is going ape.

His patriotism has been put in question

Because he refuses in this session

To address the matter of foreign meddling.

And well that is just very, very unsettling.

The dating app used by 3 million a day

Is getting ready to make a very big play.

It plans soon to list for an IPO

And will make its owners plenty of dough.

Investors are happy, there is no doubt.

But it’s still hard for users to come out.

Say what you will about video games

But it’s hard to deny the young people’s claims

That they’re active and cool and have a role

In preparing for life and meeting your goal.

You can still think a video game sucks,

But the kid doesn’t care who made 3 million bucks!

The craziest of things can happen there

So you always have to be aware

Of what temptations may come your way

And what sort of price you’re willing to pay.

But I can’t say grasshoppers come to mind

As a Vegas attraction of any kind.

Who’d have thought it had such power

To fuel the dream, to deliver our hour

Of creativity and entrepreneurial soul

From sweet dough and a strategic hole…

The donut has meant so much to so many

And has made for some a pretty penny.

This was no amateur operation!

20 tons of cocaine into the nation.

$1.3 billion dollars of value on the street

That could have bought an entire fleet

Of even larger ships to smuggle in a ton.

But our Customs Patrol got the job done.

Here’s the man who in the campaign said

There’d be no time for golf, and instead

He’d work all the time, always for you!

But along the way may have colluded too,

With Russians and other unsavory types

So here he is, publicly showing his stripes!

It is outrageous to see the change,

And the GOP’s fiscal policy range,

From deficits being their pet peeve

To now drunken sailors on shore leave.

This budget is a crime against the nation!

Please someone work for its cessation.

The ICE raids seem to have been a bust,

With few deportations, far fewer than just.

The courts have ruled these folks must go

And so they should, while we show

Compassion to those who are sent away.

But Trump is letting many stay…

On the one hand I like Arby’s spirit.

Meat replacements? They don’t fear it.

In fact they think it would be a trip

To take the idea and give it a flip.

But it does cause a bit of a shock –

A new meaning to “What’s up, Doc?”