So an asteroid struck our planet Earth!

And yet there was a massive dearth

Of coverage about it in the press…

This could have been a pretty big mess!

But with so much else causing commotion

We hardly knew it crashed into the ocean.

The Russians are moving out of New York

Before they face any torch or pitchfork.

You have to wonder what goes through their mind

Things have been pretty good, are they aligned?

Are they leaving with thoughts that we’re corrupt,

Or pissed at Putin for this life interrupt?

The problem with seeking his approval

Is that it comes with likely removal

Of decency and honor any time

That Donnie decides to change on a dime.

Turns out his support can be kind of murky

If you happen to be a citizen of Turkey.

Mercurial Pete was headed to space

But now seems to have pulled a double face.

He’s dating one of my least favorite gals

(So Kanye West is not one of his pals)

Which would make me want to escape the Earth

But he decided to give up his berth…

Changing course can be a hard thing to do.

And will require change from what you knew.

More often than not it takes a big whack

Which will alter your course on a new track.

Russia’s attack may be such a moment

And make our two parties be less opponent.

We kind of grew up thinking of Russians

As steroid-fueled beasts who give concussions.

Like Ivan Drago, of Rocky IV fame,

These guys were real tough and played a hard game.

So it was kinda nice to see other guys…

Obsessed with Big Macs and a side of fries.

Behold here the leader of the Proud Boys

Dressed up like a soldier, without the poise.

So butch and tough, yeah the hat says it best.

Hang on, what’s that weapon snug in your vest…?

Huh, it’s a WHITE CLAW! Is that Natural Lime?

You War Boys sure know how to have a good time!

TB12 built an entire franchise

On how to age well and still win the prize.

So I must admit I was skeptical,

When with his stats that are impeccable,

He hung up the cleats and said he would punt…

Turns out it was just a marketing stunt!

When growing up I was frequently told

Adversity helps you as you grow old.

It hardens your character, makes you strong

And allows you to cope when things go wrong.

Yes, I was worried we were getting weak…

But the past two years are breaking that streak.

Yes, I’m skeptical about this nice claim,

And bet that soon we’ll see more of the same.

Already you have folks like Rep. Cawthorn

Who seems to believe that Ukraine, war torn,

Is deserving of all this upheaval

Since, he says, its “government is evil.”