Results for: June 2024


Source: Andy Borowitz

A Biden Ticket

So here’s a take worth consideration

That feels normal today in this great nation…

Let’s swap out one Biden for another

(And yes we wish it could’ve been the brother).

Then it’s Felon vs Felon in the race!

America ends up in a great place.


Source: The Financial Times

No! Perfectly Normal…

Dresses and nails and spray tans, sure why not?

A chance to get fancy, show what they got.

So that seems like it’s just kids having fun

(Though likely cutthroat when all’s said and done…)

But when it comes to adding a chopper?

Yeah… that would count as a big jaw dropper.


Source: The Daily Beast

The Meaning of Well

It would be natural to wonder just about now

What “well” means to him, I mean “well” like how?

As “well” as the Hindenberg when it landed?

Or perhaps the Titanic, if we’re candid…?

As “well” as the dinosaurs in the Ice Age?

Or Milli Vanilli when they last were on stage…?


Source: The Daily Beast

Dinner with Dahmer?!

I have a soft spot for Ariana

A fun performer, dishing out manna.

Quite a fine talent, she’s also real smart

When she stumbles like this it breaks my heart.

She made a mistake, every one of us does

And she should say she’s sorry, just because.


Source: The New York Post

Such Fine People

I’ve never understood why some folks seek

To be in the limelight… it just seems bleak.

Especially when you’re the type of dude

Whose morals veer sharply toward all that’s crude.

These lovely humans cheat all the day long

In public display as if nothing’s wrong.


Source: USA Today

Bleached Brew

So apparently the way you do it

Takes a mindset which just says “Oh screw it”

And you load the coffee machine with bleach

Which frankly seems like a bit of a reach

I mean, people would notice, don’t you think?

What type of brew do you normally drink?!


Source: The New York Times

As If It’s a Question

The debate will be a total s#!tshow

Learning nothing we don’t already know.

Trump will be mental as only he can

As Biden will struggle just to say “Man…”

There’s no doubt in my mind this will be ruh roh

All empires collapse… so c’mon let’s go!


Source: The New York Post

Lost in Space

Boeing is having a terrible run

And this time they’re really under the gun.

There are bad days at work, and there’s this

Staring with fear deep into the abyss.

I sure hope they get these problems sorted

And these astronauts safely transported.


Source: The Guardian

3-3 and Counting

It’s not many teams which have done this feat

Come back from 0-3… that’s a lotta heat.

Who knows what will happen in Game Seven

But if Edmonton wins they’ll be in heaven.

I was crushed when the Red Sox did it to the Yanks

But if the Oilers win I’ll be giving thanks.


Source: USA Today

America IS Great

If you believe the hype that things just suck

And it’s gotten too hard to make a buck

It might be worth learning about a few

Of the very cool people in this crew.

No excuses or cries that things aren’t fair

Just hard working people earning their share.