It really is a major mystery

Because at no time in all of history

Has any one person made as strong a case

For SO MANY people to punch his face…

It truly could have been anyone

From Cabinet members to his own son.

If Trump ever bothered to give it thought

He’d have to see that this order is fraught

With idiocy and contradictions.

Why would he want to put any restrictions

On one of the biggest exports we sell?

It will only make the trade deficit swell.

The number of farmers who voted for Trump

Gave him a huge electoral bump.

Over seventy percent voted for him

But now they find they must implore him

To give them a bailout, an exception

The tariffs will make them need protection.

To say a penny short and a day late

Would of course dramatically understate

The outrageous state of current affairs…

The data proves that neither side cares.

Both right and left have run up the bill

And NOW’s the time to show some will?

On this reverent Memorial Day

When we honor those who passed away

Defending freedom and democracy

Is Trump finally done with his hypocrisy?

Will he now help to curb Putin’s power?

Or is he still owned by that golden shower…?

Biden thought he could hide his bad health

By generating tons of national wealth!

What an outrageous thing to have done…

While ignoring issues like Air Force One.

And part of the scheme was to build strong ties

With all our essential global allies.

Does no one remember Rocky 4?!

Drago juiced like mad but fell to the floor…

No drugs can best the human will to win.

This show in Vegas is mortal sin.

Who would support such a silly fraud deal?

Oh! Don Jr. himself! Just keeping it real.

They do things different out on the Left Coast

And what they call “sober” is something to toast.

Of course they don’t drink… that could kill you!

So instead what they do is they fill you

With much healthier things to make you placid

Like mushrooms, ketamine and maybe acid.

Well this certainly comes as a surprise…

Someone missed the memo about white guys!

They’re not supposed to be treated like this!

For Kristi Noem it’s a big miss.

She should be worried about Trump’s ire…

So off-brand, from a DEI hire!

Well let’s give it up for the WASPs today!

The Episcopal Church said it’s not okay

For a whole crew of privileged white people

To be given refuge under their steeple

On the premise they’ve been persecuted…

A disgusting claim, quickly refuted.