So this Ukranian dude knows some stuff

That on its own could be enough

To lock up more than quite a few

Of the President’s men, and likely him too.

But his testimony might not be allowed

Or as a crook already would be disavowed.

For sure there’s power but it’s also complex.

Long ago the news room was given some specs

Which governed the way that Mike is covered

And prevented the chance that he get smothered

With anything related to his personal life…

And now he’ll spare ALL Dems from that knife.

Now it’s official, he’s in the race

And is most certainly in a unique place.

Not only does he have billions to spend

He has his own news room too, my friend!

That’s a pretty stacked deck, to say the least

Mike Bloomberg is a formidable beast!

It’s just one letter, an easy mistake,

But wow what a difference it would make!

I think probably most men would agree

That both are a frightening mystery.

But if you get a Purple Heart from an IUD

I bet enlistment would grow exponentially.

A refreshing addition to the news pool –
A university not choking on its own drool.
The First Amendment is a powerful tool
Which can be used equally against a fool!
But the thing which just isn’t very cool
Is silencing voices at any school.

For a guy likely to make infamous history

The ambassador’s resting face is a mystery.

In the matter-of-fact testimony that he gave

You wonder if he knows he’s digging a grave.

Yet there he sits, seeming as jovial as can be!

While there is no one more complicit than he.

I have to imagine that three months ago

He’d never heard the words “quid pro quo.”

And now he thinks they have the same ring

As that word “collusion” in the Russia thing.

But he beat that word in a magnificent fight!

And these words, too, will go down, alright…

So this is South Dakota’s campaign

To try and stop the runaway train

Of Meth addiction in that state

Which is climbing at a scary rate.

No wonder, too, when leaders pick

A slogan like this to do the trick…!

When it comes to matters of public health

Donnie takes it as seriously as his own wealth.

He was quick to speak on the dangers of vaping

And promised strict regulations, no escaping.

But it would make his base pissed, it became clear,

And the health of his campaign is a bit more dear.

Families have it hard enough

Just dealing with life can be tough.

Tending to the usual tasks of the day

Can be highly stressful in many a way.

So rarely if ever do things seem placid…

But man it’s worse when the family’s on acid.