First they mess with our social media
Which is our youth‘s new encyclopedia,
Casting uncertainty on what we can trust,
And making elections go all but bust.
So now their new weapon is a whale!
The Russians try anything to make us fail.

Social media seeps into every corner

And the gym, alas, is no foreigner.

Self-absorption rules the little screen,

Encouraging people to pout and preen.

It’s annoying enough at any state

But especially when it blocks the weights.

As if the subway doesn’t suck enough
Now your commute will get really tough.
Don’t talk about problems where you work
Or the guy in the cubicle who’s such a jerk
Or the shoes you haven’t told him you’re buying
Because soon the Chinese will be there spying.

Everything is relative, that’s for sure.
But people everywhere are in want of a cure.
What in Taiwan may seem pretty bad
Might look darn good if you’re in Chad!
What I believe is true in every nation:
Most people should feel more appreciation.

Now it’s Putin’s turn to feel the charm
Of being locked up arm in arm
With the delightfully colorful Kim Jong Un,
To see if his nukes can be undone.
Vlad used no social media campaign…
Instead they drank some cold champagne.

We knew this day was going to come,

Despite it being painfully dumb.

I’m mostly a fan of the Veep,

And the touchy thing doesn’t make him a creep.

But Team USA needs a brand new approach!

I’d sideline Smooth Joe if I were the coach.

It would be a mistake to try to impeach.

Donnie’s base would see it as an over-reach.

The best plan is for him to stay in power

And have the election be his witching hour.

Of course, you’d think by now he’d have imploded!

But the love of his fans has not eroded…

A missed opportunity to say the least…

HC is such a sexy beast!

What more is needed to be on the Fed?

It’s not like you need to be well-read.

His 9-9-9 plan was genius by a mile,

And the Feds could use that killer smile…!

These days it’s pretty fair to ask

What experience is needed to do the task

Of being a leader and governing a nation?

It’s a mystery throughout all of creation.

A TV joker is now President of Ukraine…

Glad other countries are boarding that train!

An emergency is an emergency!

And this young guy called with urgency.

Grandma was asleep and he had a need.

She’d be up soon so he acted with speed.

If she found out he would likely be slivered.

But lo and behold, the police delivered!