He’s a conservative lawyer on the far right.

She’s a media savant whose boss likes a fight.

POTUS is nuts, is his Twitter flack.

“Stone cold loser” was Donnie’s epic comeback.

In addition to thinking that civilization is dead,

I would bet it’s chilly in the Conway bed!

It’s good work if you can get it!

A 12 year deal, he won’t regret it.

Seems implausible that this could be.

But the money comes from us, you see.

Media contracts are what drive this biz.

The more we watch, the more there is.

Even his supporters tend to agree

Donnie’s thoughts run wild and are often free

Of much concern about the long-term plan

Or of his passive support, say, of the Ku Klux Klan.

Yet the evangelicals still give him their praise!

Yes, the Lord sure works in mysterious ways.

Don’t know much about Beto O’Rourke.

Just gotta hope he’s not some big dork.

Yes, greater unity is what the country is needing,

But will it come from more liberal hearts bleeding?

And born to run? Well that just seems wrong.

Feels a bit like he’s trashing a Springsteen song!

Just swimming along, very far south.

Next thing you know, he’s in a whale’s mouth!

The man played it cool, despite the fright.

But what about the poor whale’s plight?

Imagine what went through ITS head.

Wanting small fish, and gets a man instead…

I used to be a huge Volkswagen fan,

Owned quite a few, I was a VW man.

The diesel scandal was a crushing blow.

Seems now it was even worse, you know?

But their old ad campaigns were legendary,

Now immortalized on Urban Dictionary…!

These moments have become extremely rare

When the House agrees on what is fair

For all Americans, not just one clan,

And with the Mueller Report they have a plan…

Everyone in the country wants to know

Is there meat on this bone, or is it all just a show?

I wonder if it’s the flip side of the coin,

Starting much younger, but still you join

An effort to orchestrate a real life gain

Without having to earn it or feel any pain.

Will gene-edited babies be total perfection?

What will it mean to be human in this collection?

There are three ways to get into college

Only one of which requires knowledge.

First, you earn the right on your own account.

Second, your parents donate an ample amount.

Now third, you can pay to cheat and lie.

It’s so depressing what money can buy.

What better way to build a wall

Than to stop communicating anything at all.

Our leaders must speak to the entire land!

Not use some networks and have others banned.

You can’t give the people ideas to choose from

If you don’t use a source they get their news from.