What a way for us all to celebrate

Our liberty and independent state

Contemplating the ever-growing chance

That in this crazy political dance

Kamala Harris might actually be

The Democrats’ next best nominee…

So now that POTUS can do what he wants

It’s time to empower all commandants.

That whole Supreme Court is problematic

And though it may seem a bit dramatic

Why not replace them with a brand new crew!

If they don’t like that plan, what can they do?

Well now that Nancy has revealed her view

What more must be said? We know what to do.

Who better than she to measure the pulse

Of America as it starts to convulse?!

All the 80 year olds are weighing in

But Joe hasn’t blinked and is staying in.

How ironic in this holiday week

When we celebrate what makes us unique –

Our fight for freedom and independence

From tyranny and the dangerous ascendance

Of unchecked power (it’s just not our way) –

That SCOTUS has judged “Yup, this is ok!”

So here’s a take worth consideration

That feels normal today in this great nation…

Let’s swap out one Biden for another

(And yes we wish it could’ve been the brother).

Then it’s Felon vs Felon in the race!

America ends up in a great place.

Dresses and nails and spray tans, sure why not?

A chance to get fancy, show what they got.

So that seems like it’s just kids having fun

(Though likely cutthroat when all’s said and done…)

But when it comes to adding a chopper?

Yeah… that would count as a big jaw dropper.

It would be natural to wonder just about now

What “well” means to him, I mean “well” like how?

As “well” as the Hindenberg when it landed?

Or perhaps the Titanic, if we’re candid…?

As “well” as the dinosaurs in the Ice Age?

Or Milli Vanilli when they last were on stage…?

I have a soft spot for Ariana

A fun performer, dishing out manna.

Quite a fine talent, she’s also real smart

When she stumbles like this it breaks my heart.

She made a mistake, every one of us does

And she should say she’s sorry, just because.

I’ve never understood why some folks seek

To be in the limelight… it just seems bleak.

Especially when you’re the type of dude

Whose morals veer sharply toward all that’s crude.

These lovely humans cheat all the day long

In public display as if nothing’s wrong.

So apparently the way you do it

Takes a mindset which just says “Oh screw it”

And you load the coffee machine with bleach

Which frankly seems like a bit of a reach

I mean, people would notice, don’t you think?

What type of brew do you normally drink?!