Well the first thing to do, I would utter,

Is to get your mind out of the gutter!

Yes, a robotic thumb could be handy

At those times when you’re getting randy

But think of all the other things it could do!

Like… like… well I’m sure there’s a few…

For Mike and Nikki and Christ Christie too

You know what I really ought to do?

I should just call them and say “Hey, strong move.”

Anything to help me get in the groove.

I’m gonna do it! It’ll help a lot!

Wait… what am I doing? Ha ha, I forgot!

Melania my dear I hope you’re just fine!

When you were at home with that son of mine

I was out screwing porn stars and a Bunny

And then paid them off with some hush money

That I pretended was a legal bill…

Which brought the woke commies out for the kill.

Over his entire life he has played

With testing and breaking the rules we’ve made

And it’s always worked to his advantage.

The reality distortion that he can manage

Has worked on everyone in the past…

Until now a jury said not so fast.

If this guy survives then something is wrong.

Or maybe he’s actually very strong?

Imagine getting on Zoom with a judge,

Your suspended license causing a grudge,

And asking him by video from afar

For a little more time to park your car…!

I wish there was something substantive here

A breakthrough technique that we could all cheer.

But sadly there’s nothing helpful to learn.

The basic message is that you discern

Why people would want to spread what’s untrue

And on that I have a pretty dim view.

As a Christian, I would hope this is true

But I don’t think it gives dogs what they’re due.

I don’t recall any dog-led Crusades

Or them burning heretics for several decades…

Dogs are the better species than we are

In almost all ways they beat us by far…

Just take a walk on almost any beach

Or in any park that’s within your reach

And guaranteed the amount you will see

Of plastic trash seems like infinity.

How can we ever justify this mess?

Laws to restrict it would be some progress.

On this important day I have a thought…

As we honor all those who bravely fought

Perhaps we see in their contributions

A pathway forward and some solutions.

A divided nation makes me nervous…

Let’s unify all with national service.

Okay, maybe there’s a chance that he’s right

And the lead roles aren’t all men who are white.

But even if they’re from some galactic den

They all act as if they’re privileged white men…

Entitled and smug – like Jabba the Hutt

When he tried to grab Princess Leia’s butt!