So Putin totally goes, like, “No way…”

Then I go “way” and am feeling okay.

But then like the dude’s disrespecting me

And for real it’s totally affecting me.

So now I think I’ll give him a wedgie…

Send more arms to Ukraine! That’s so edgy.

Whatever is evil and bad today

Is because Joe Biden had his way!

Or at least that’s what we’re meant to believe

As Trump fleeces the world with his weave.

His success at it all is a mystery…

The biggest gaslight in all of history.

Whenever you reach an important benchmark

Whether it’s small or you hit it outta the park

It’s good to pause and take time to reflect…

Is your work having the desired effect?

Well shoot, that’s a hard one. I just don’t know…

But we’re at 2500 days in a row!

Third party experiments have happened before

But they’ve never managed to make much more

Than a brief splash of enthusiasm

Before falling into a very deep chasm.

But now may be different from what we’ve seen

Since both parties’ policies are just obscene.

A lapse of judgement cast sand in the gears
And he missed last year after sixteen years.
But the Champ is back and reclaimed his spot
As the guy who can truly eat a lot
Of hot dogs at the world’s fastest pace
And always with a smile on his face.

Not with a bang, not even a sigh

Fiscal conservatives crawled off to die.

I do wonder how all of this will end…

Since both parties just want to spend spend spend.

So let’s celebrate our great nation today

But tomorrow let’s find another way.

These are two guys who really know their stuff

And they are saying enough is enough…

The only time in the last 50 years

When the budget balanced causing no tears

Was under Bill Clinton, a fiscal hawk.

Everything else is political talk.

Alligator Alcatraz… what a name!

Designed so that it would have much the same

Deterrence to escape – it would be hard

To somehow manage to elude the guard

Then survive all threats of the swamp at night…

But who would have thought you could drown onsite?

Further proof these policies are designed

With utmost care and by a thoughtful mind.

Imposed with reason and a steady hand

Carried out with intention, just as planned.

Woops, sorry… didn’t mean to aspire!

They’re actually just tools of Trump’s ire.

More centrist republicans call it quits

From the House and Senate, they’re in the pits.

This is the real danger that we’re facing

When the extremes are what we’re embracing.

No longer is thoughtful discourse allowed.

Fall into line or you’re disavowed.