These pillars of virtue come to children’s aid

By eating their homework in every grade.

Dogs are exceptional creatures for sure

And pretty much always are part of the cure.

They are loyal and true no matter the case,

And will even take the heat in a cop chase…

There stands freedom’s most famous symbol

Representing a nation that’s always nimble.

And behind it we see a huge hospital ship

Arriving into New York on a critical trip.

A city in lockdown, a nation gripped by fear…

This ship stands for hope, a solution is near.

Our nation has been through much worse

No doubt each time it feels like a curse.

World wars and plagues and the Depression…

And a little less menacing – the Great Recession.

Americans have always known how to fight

Now it’s our turn to make things right.

Of all the products to be put on hold

With just a small number that can be sold

I’d have to say that this one makes sense…

Lovers are separated and things are tense.

But man oh man this business will boom

Once dates no longer take place on Zoom!

Little can do more to make enemies united

And have the spirit of cooperation ignited

Than to have someone do something so stupid

That poles come together as tho shot by Cupid.

The Left and the Right condemn as a class

This jerk who tests positive for being an ass.

It’s a bit fun to joke about all the pain

Of staying at home and going insane.

Online classes that are clogging the net

And short little tempers that we all get.

But at times like this when anxieties roam

It’s awfully nice to have everyone home.

So he’s got a problem with paying for sex

And thinks it may make his partner his ex.

His partner thinks it’s not such a big thing

But wouldn’t do it if he’s wearing a ring.

The truth, however, that we can’t smother

Is we all pay for sex, one way or another.

At first people thought there’d be a spike

In Sagittarian babies, because, well, like…

You’re in the house with nothing to do

And eventually nothing is even worse than you.

At least that might be a line you will try!

Or else June divorces will be sky high…

The State of Florida once again shines

And not just from sun and sexy tan lines.

Turns out they’ve also found the cure

For covid-19! And you can be sure

It’s totally effective, works like a charm…

What could go wrong? Turn down the alarm.

If they’re trying to sell us on being real

They’ve got far to go to seal the deal…

When you’re trying to set a classy image

You can’t play the game like it’s a scrimmage.

Everything matters, it’s all part of the plan.

At least put the ads through a spellcheck scan!