Meet Whisky, a happy and focused border collie

Who’s totally dismissive of the world’s folly.

She lives with her owners and 100 toys

And spends most of the day pursuing her joys.

Not frivolous, mind you, she’s learned the names

Of all of her toys while playing her games.

An existential issue without a doubt!

Which makes more questions only sprout…

Like what about almond and oat milk too?

What do they have to say to you?

I like these products and they’re in style,

But it’s good to poke fun every once in a while.

The battle is raging over etiquette on a plane

Should you be able to recline, or is that insane?

For me, I always feel a little bad when I do it

Which is not very often, there’s something to it.

Yes the reclining seat is an annoying concoction,

But if it’s not allowed then don’t give the option.

Valentine’s Day is here once again

With its pressure to be like Barbie and Ken.

There are plenty of reasons why it sucks –

Everything costs like a million bucks!

But there is one different side to the story,

For me it’s worthwhile, because of Lorrie…

I can’t say this comes as a big surprise…

It can be pretty scary as the blade flies

Round and round, just a bit overhead

Always made me think – if it splits, I’m dead.

So the Safety Commission has saved the day!

And people think government has lost its way…

Lord only knows how it happened so fast

But email and voice are a thing of the past.

Watching our youth as they tap tap tap

The “phone” on their phone is the least used app!

So inexperience makes their manners go flat…

But what excuse do the rest of us have for that?

So this guy decides to bike around the world

Not knowing into what dangers he’ll be hurled.

And just to make it a bit more of a mission

He chose to include one crazy addition –

A unicycle! Not a bike with two wheels…

I shudder to think how his butt feels.

Four years ago was the unlikely sight

Of Donnie’s slow-moving escalator flight.

Most people laughed, it seemed so surreal

But it turns out he was able to gain appeal.

Could another (real) billionaire pull this off,

Or has the category now made voters scoff?

Well it certainly would be quite bizarre,

Perhaps the ultimate spin by far,

If Donnie were able to use this disaster

As a way to sure up his election faster.

Who but him could come up with a plot

For a global pandemic to help him a lot?

We live in a time of instant satisfaction

With social media always causing a distraction

By showcasing lives that you’re not leading

And giving your FOMO a big force-feeding.

But why it is better is not very clear

If it simply takes longer for photos to appear.