I’ve always heard Chicago is wild

Ever since I was a little child.

But I had a different image in mind!

Like the Blues Brothers and their kind.

THIS type of wildlife is much less appealing.

Most locals I bet would share that feeling…

First of all, yes, it’s a real issue to solve.

But seriously, do parents need to involve

Paid coaches to offer all sorts of advice

That’s painfully obvious, at a very high price?

No wonder these kids are stuck to a screen

When parents like us have bad mental hygiene.

Holy Moly what bizarre planning!
They pick a day when we’re all manning
Outdoor grills and kegs of beer
Getting fairly loaded, that much is clear.
Yet this is the day more aliens choose
To take their annual Earthly cruise…!

Even without their tournament star

The US Team was stronger by far!

Okay, maybe it was pretty close…

But our amazing athletes gave a dose

Of powerful teamwork, no matter what,

And look what happened – they kicked butt!

A trillion dollars isn’t what it used to be…

And money, of course, can’t set you free!

But I, for one, would be willing to say

That it would likely be a pretty good day

And my world would be a better place

With just a small fraction off the face…!

Well good heavens, what’s this we see?

The first president to cross the DMZ!

A warm welcome indeed on the North side,

Smiles and photos and arms opened wide.

Donnie never wants to be outdone,

But this is one giant leap for Kim Jong Un.

I do believe he’s being treated unfairly,

But more prescient words are stated rarely!

The VP’s time has come and go…

It’s hard to accept, that we know.

But the future of the party and the nation

Is with the people of a new generation.

The FT of London is rarely so bold

To be this outspoken – and kind of cold!

But Italy for sure has had a spell

Of disastrous leadership from hell.

Lucky for them they got some things right.

Food, culture and beauty – out of sight!

So you want to be a millionaire?
Meet the “experts” who help get you there…
Turns out I’ve approached it entirely wrong!
I buy coffee and food and sometimes a song.
Forget about all the work you’ve done…
Riches come just from saving a ton!

Methane gas can be a blast from a heifer,

And from humans politely is called a “zephyr.”

So the intrepid Mars Rover has come to find

Itself in the middle of that awkward bind –

Someone has done it, the puff doesn’t lie!

But the culprit is hard to identify…