Though Donnie is the biggest offender

Who knew? Canada is the true contender!

And boys and girls, those rich and poor

Generally get about the same score.

The Irish ranking really made me think…

Quite a surprise given the amount they drink!

First they mess with our social media
Which is our youth‘s new encyclopedia,
Casting uncertainty on what we can trust,
And making elections go all but bust.
So now their new weapon is a whale!
The Russians try anything to make us fail.

Social media seeps into every corner

And the gym, alas, is no foreigner.

Self-absorption rules the little screen,

Encouraging people to pout and preen.

It’s annoying enough at any state

But especially when it blocks the weights.

As if the subway doesn’t suck enough
Now your commute will get really tough.
Don’t talk about problems where you work
Or the guy in the cubicle who’s such a jerk
Or the shoes you haven’t told him you’re buying
Because soon the Chinese will be there spying.

Everything is relative, that’s for sure.
But people everywhere are in want of a cure.
What in Taiwan may seem pretty bad
Might look darn good if you’re in Chad!
What I believe is true in every nation:
Most people should feel more appreciation.

Now it’s Putin’s turn to feel the charm
Of being locked up arm in arm
With the delightfully colorful Kim Jong Un,
To see if his nukes can be undone.
Vlad used no social media campaign…
Instead they drank some cold champagne.

We knew this day was going to come,

Despite it being painfully dumb.

I’m mostly a fan of the Veep,

And the touchy thing doesn’t make him a creep.

But Team USA needs a brand new approach!

I’d sideline Smooth Joe if I were the coach.

It would be a mistake to try to impeach.

Donnie’s base would see it as an over-reach.

The best plan is for him to stay in power

And have the election be his witching hour.

Of course, you’d think by now he’d have imploded!

But the love of his fans has not eroded…

An emergency is an emergency!

And this young guy called with urgency.

Grandma was asleep and he had a need.

She’d be up soon so he acted with speed.

If she found out he would likely be slivered.

But lo and behold, the police delivered!

April 20 is a revered holiday indeed!

A time to celebrate for those who love weed.

The day was chosen as a result

Of the number 420, which was kind of a cult.

It did not come from Marley or a bootleg Dead set,

It was the time after school when study group met…