It’s finally arrived! Like Christmas day!

With the whole country wide-eyed and gay!

Everyone wishing each other the best!

Happy to be in a country so blessed!

No matter the outcome life here is a gift!

Um, right…?

Congratulations to every athlete

Who chose to tackle this very hard feat.

Not all were able to cross the line

But all had a big heart and a steel spine.

I’m so proud of two who went all the way…

My very own children! Hell YEAH!! Hooray!!!

If we only hear the news that we want

Then some algorithm is nonchalant

In tracking the feeds that are sent to me

‘Cuz this little piece I just shouldn’t see…

There’s no safe level of alcohol use…?!

Yeah, my inner circle says that’s obtuse.

Time and aging are so mysterious

All the unknowns can make you delirious.

How about this to make you stagger…

Biden is the same age as Mick Jagger!

Now look at this maestro, I mean no way!

Clint still delivers and “makes my day…”

I had the big privilege of knowing Steve

He’s the sort of guy that’s hard to believe.

Truly compassionate, he turned his cheek

But in no way at all did he seem meek.

Driven so hard to right the world’s wrongs

The White House was really where he belongs.

At first it seems like it’s kind of funny
Birds holding grudges, I mean that’s money.
But turns out they really destroy people’s lives!
Dive bombing and pecking with beaks like knives.
Tormenting their targets with Hitchcock fears
They will hold grudges for 17 years!

As we enter this week before the vote

Let’s all remember we’re in the same boat

And showcase some moments from our shared past

When good news prevailed, let’s not be downcast.

So on this day in 1962

We avoided destroying the world… Yeah, phew…!

Needless to say I take delight in words

And even enjoy the linguistic turds

That carefree Gen Z’ers have invented

(Though it often makes them sound demented).

Technology spreads the new words so fast

If you don’t keep up you’ll just feel half-assed.

It is common wisdom, long cemented

Disputes among neighbors are prevented

With properly placed, very high fences.

So I shudder to think of the consequences

Of knowing too much about something so charged

As their donor history, in bright lights and enlarged.

Dating these days can be quite chaotic

The choice, the speed… it makes you psychotic.

So enter the tool that business uses…

Who knew that spreadsheets could be muses?!

Enter the data, be careful with that…

Then sort the results by your favorite stat.